Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
