yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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