This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
