Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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