I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
