Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
