oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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