yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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