Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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