My nipple is on Facebook.
he puts the penis in happiness.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
