dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who died my cat blue again?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
