Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
