ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize