she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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