I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
