I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol