ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?