Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.