i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today