Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
