I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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