i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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