you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
