and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
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There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
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I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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