All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
