i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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