Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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