Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
