i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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