Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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