I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
