my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
third nipple confirmed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
