I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
