well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
