Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
