just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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