all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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