The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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