if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
