i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize