we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
