I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
