Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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