"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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