Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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