Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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