What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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