For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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