omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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