Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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