Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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