yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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