yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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