I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize