um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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