I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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